The New Wineskin. When I stand, God moves. When I fear, the enemy chases me.
Patricia Ann, originally posted Monday, July 27, 2020
My conversations with Jesus in the midst of an ongoing, raging storm...
It's still hard for me to see past my pain, to trust the one(s) who have hurt me here. Visions and words, sights and sounds of things that I have seen and heard that no one should hear, things that no woman should hear, ways that no woman should ever be treated. I know, however, that without it all, I may not be here, so in love with Jesus. He is ever present now in the thoughts I have of the past pains and horrors. I hear His voice gently calling me back to Himself. That is where I want to be, in the midst of my Lord, in His essence so sweet, in His fragrance. He is Light and uplifting in His presence. I want to smile and laugh and even joke a little. I can see His smile. He is just pure sweetness and He is always interested in me, in what I have to say. He cares and He understands. After all, Himself experienced the weight of the world and conquered the grave for me. He did it for everyone, but I feel it so personally in this moment. I guess I had to experience all of the pain and rejection of the ones I love the most here on earth. I had to have nobody, nothing and nowhere to turn. I think nobody ever really understood me and somehow that was always okay with me, because I loved them so much. It is hard though, giving and giving and giving and only getting rejection in return. I know that Jesus knows me intimately and I share in that rejection with Him. He is still rejected ,too, by so many people. My heart hurts for them, the lost ones, but as Jesus calls mankind hearts unto Himself one by one, each has the opportunity to experience this same Love that I share with my Lord. It's kind of hard to put into words--this feeling I have inside. I feel so accepted, so cared for, so loved and so worthy. I am loved. Jesus loves me intimately. He sees me perfected by the acceptance of His love, His essence. I seek to dwell here and if I start to think back into the past pain and hurt, I won't go. Jesus will call me forward and I will hear His voice and run to Him. I love you, my Lord.
Thank you, my Lord, for raising me up to more than I can be. Only through You am "I". Only as a part of You, allowing Yourself's essence through me that I live, that I am, as You are. I am being perfected. Thank you, my Lord. No longer the old broken vessel, but a new wineskin filled with new wine. There are rivers of living water flowing from my belly. I am beginning to shine again, a sparkle in my eye--a smile, as I experience all that you have for me. No fear, only the sweetness of who I am in You. Only the sweetness of your fragrance upon me. I am beautiful. I am loved. I am accepted by the One who matters the most. I live in abundance now, as Your banner over me is Love. It is a love so beautiful and accepting, no earthy love will ever know or compare to that which comes from You. I share your essence from within my soul, once again, only now, even more so. I seek to praise You in all I do, in all I say, with all of my being. Because You love me so awesomely, I also love awesomely. There is joy here in this place. There is a joy once sought for at every turn. I have arrived into Your embrace. I have arrived into Your arms. I have communion with You,
my Lord - body, mind, spirit and soul. I have arrived. There is peace here. I am home. I feel You deep within. Your love has enveloped me in safety. As I live, it is You, my Lord, whose essence I exude. Even as I still face rejection in this earthly world, I shall not fear, for your loving kindness remains as a confident whisper in the wind. I hear You say, "I've got you." I have always had you and I will never leave you nor forsake you. My banner over you is love. Enjoy life and share Me. There are others waiting to experience My presence, My love."
Yes, my Lord. Amen.
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